THE PAIN OF ANXIETY
Originally sent exclusively to The Letter subscribers on December 9th. Want to be the first to get my personal newsletter in your inbox every Monday at 7am? Subscribe for free here.
All entrepreneurs experience it at some point.
When I was 26 years old, I was struck by immense anxiety.
It knocked on the door unexpectedly, and much like an unwelcome relative at Christmas, it was tough to get rid of.
Here’s the strange thing: on paper, I had it all.
A portfolio of properties, great friends, and a brilliant, growing business.
I had just raised funds to take us to the next level. Everything seemed perfect – millions in revenue and profit, a clear plan for the future.
I was healthy, too. Single, living in a penthouse. (You can fill in the blanks on that last point.)
For the first time since leaving home as a teenager, I felt “together.”
Up until then, it had been go, go, go – no time to think.
The trouble was, suddenly, I didn’t feel great.
I couldn’t figure out why.
I kept getting that butterfly feeling in my stomach for no reason.
Driving into work felt like I had done something wrong or was teetering on the edge of disaster, like sitting on a plane that’s about to crash.
I ended up seeking counselling to understand what was going on.
A lovely lady named Lorinda helped me work through it.
Basically, I hadn’t taken the time to process or contemplate some of the family tragedies I’d experienced.
My mum had been very poorly, and my childhood had been tough, bouncing between parents.
We all tried our best, but it was devilishly difficult.
I left home young and started a business in entertainment. Then, my mum passed away, followed by my grandad – the man who’d lived with me and driven me to my gigs when I started the entertainment business.
I threw myself into work, pushing hard to succeed. I was earning good money and felt secure, but the fear of losing it – or not having enough to eat – drove me like a rocket. I didn’t stop.
On the whole, things went well. I became resourceful and independent – a one-man army.
Challenges presented themselves, but I overcame them with ease, like a hot knife through butter.
By my mid-20s, life really was great. Yet, despite all that, I felt an overwhelming sense of loss.
The counselling helped. I got through it. I learned the importance of taking time to reflect, understanding why you do what you do, and pausing to take stock of your life.
Then I met Nats, my wife, and the anxiety stopped instantly.
We quickly set up home and became (pass the bucket) life partners. A good partner can solve many woes in life – choose this person wisely.
That said, these bouts of anxiety still pop up occasionally.
Now, I welcome them with open arms because they’ve led me to solutions.
I’ve since learned that successful people use their difficulties.
The old saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” is far more powerful than most of us realise.
For me, anxiety is a signal to change something.
Change doesn’t always happen overnight. It can take a year or two to fully implement, but I’ve learned to embrace that process.
Many people understand the principle of “using the difficulty” but lack the persistence to put in the reps and sets because it’s hard.
Using difficulties has served me incredibly well in entrepreneurship. Here are a few examples to tickle your tastebuds:
Seasonality and Cash Flow: I hated the anxiety caused by the seasonality of my business. Weather fluctuations had a profound effect on my cash flow, so I used that difficulty to repair my business ecosystem. I created additional revenue streams that peaked when others dipped, leading to more predictable cash flow.
Making Leisure Desirable: I disliked how leisure businesses were considered less desirable to buyers. I used that anxiety to add childcare services to my leisure businesses, increasing their value if I ever chose to sell.
Securing Funding: When I couldn’t get banks to believe in me or fund my company acquisitions, I used the difficulty to learn how to structure deals without bank involvement.
Building an Audience: In the early days of YouTube, no one was watching my videos. I used that difficulty to learn the craft and research how to improve. Instead of relying on a viral hit, I built a strong, stable audience that has grown with us. Looking back, I prefer the sustainable growth we’ve achieved over the overnight success I once dreamed of.
Throughout my career, I’ve often been frustrated about not reaching my goals faster.
I used to hate the difficulty, but now I embrace it – it has made me so much stronger.
When difficulty turns up and anxiety follows, here’s what I do to shake it off:
Go for a walk. It clears your mind.
Think carefully and thoroughly. Most people don’t, which is why they rush to judge.
Seek advice only from people ahead of you. Take guidance from those who’ve achieved what you aspire to.
Write it down. The process of writing helps massively.
Assess your inner circle. You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Do you need to make changes?
Embrace starting over. If life takes away what you’ve built, use it as an opportunity to rebuild.
Find comfort. Sometimes, a cup of tea and a Cadbury’s chocolate finger can work wonders.
Finally, allow yourself bad days – just not bad weeks, months, or years.
Be a Lion.
Use the difficulty. You might as well.
Roar your way to success.
I’ve come to learn that not everyone gets my jokes at the end of these letters, or even realise I am telling a joke, so the next paragraph is a joke.
Talking of lions and chocolate...
Do you like Lion bars?
I do. I just think it’s a nice place for lions to chill out and have a drink.
Till next week, to your continued success!
James
“There are only two days when you can’t get something done. One is yesterday, and the other is tomorrow. You might as well do it now.”
P.S. Buying Business is on the 25th March 2025 and I’d love to see you there. Find out more here.